ISBN Moment

Yesterday at 4.20 pm, my heart beat slowly and softly: everything done, Sri, one of the most supportive patient people I have met in recent times, got the ISBN number from my email and arranged the barcode on the back cover. I stood still, really still: this was a moment to live for, I will remember it forever.

Dreams do come true, mine took 8 years.

June 2000: I had started thinking about the book (I knew this would come back to me) when I returned from Saigon with the kids.

So all in all, I owe B-16 Venus Apts, (the very first home that we owned together, Deval and I) the first peace I ever enjoyed in my life after 1993 as well as the beginning of this book. I guess peace has that effect, it allows you to reach within and stretch higher. Of course you need a soul group to help you hold on, to believe in this mad caper as much as you do yourself, sometimes more. And here I am: a week away from holding my book in my hand.

I cautioned myself from thinking about nay-sayers: realistically I know that there is always someone who will scoff: this is the risk we take when we do something different. In this case, I have willed myself to step out of the labelled brown box and stand tall, while not being trapped by the invisible, crippling expectations of the world around me.

I asked my critical voice: Is this book being written for Rashmee first and foremost or to please those voices that denigrate?" And the answer came back loud and clear: this is MY legacy, for my life, for my children, my students and my roots ( in whichever order you see it).

This is the peace in my soul.

And I know this for sure: it can be done. That is my message to myself. Remind me when I forget. Deal?

Rashmee