Had an amazing time yesterday with my brother and his family. I had woken up and suddenly realised that it was July 8th, the day I usually landed in Mumbai. See how easy it is to get used to something. I do something for 3 years and it becomes ' my thing' now. And the tears just wouldn't stop, I cried and cried and cried sitting on the swing for a long time.
The pain of thinking of Amma's aging and the shock I used to get every year as to how much more has gone away, how angry I felt at all the people who did not acknowledge the passage of time and treated things as if they would never end and above all my own pain at not being able to accept this change, seeing even my own mortality in her face. The inability to just blink and makes things to what they were, whatever that phase was that I was used to, warts and all.
And I wondered aloud at the Universe about how this day would end.
I guess getting up and living the next moment is the best way to move on with Life, and that is what happened. My daughter woke, we went to the gym, then we shopped some at the mall, came home to pick up my son, got dressed and left for the friend's home.
I want to write more but right now the words do not come, they will later, I know. Until then, the warmth in my heart will have to do. Do you feel it?
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