Namesake?

I remember reading Jhumpa Lahiri's Namesake through one night two years ago, the only other book I stayed up for was " The Bridges of Madison County" in 1995. And as dawn broke over the Eastern horizon, I had made up my mind: I was in a new country, a new set of rules and I was going to do what I have always wanted to do: take my name back.

Stereotypes abound when it comes to women and more so of South Asian descent in my new country. I smile or cringe when ill informed people wax eloquent about ' those people raising their daughters to be meek and docile" Yeah right, tell that to Indira Gandhi, Benazir Bhutto, Khalida Zia, Sheikh Hasina, Maneka Gandhi, Chandrika Kumaratunga, Medha Patkar, Bachendri Pal and Kalpana Chawla......

My father raised me well. While Amma took care of the softer aspects of my personality, he stood up for the values he was instilling in my young mind. At 19 when I readied myself to go to Bangalore alone on a overnight train, he reminded all the worriers that as long as "Rashmee kept her wits about her and did not walk off into the sunset leaving her belongings on the berth, there was no way she was going to be hoodwinked": oh the joy of that!! Life is indeed a self fulfilling prophecy. I was raised to believe that I would make mistakes sometimes but I was not to live every single day worrying about the next one or blaming myself for the previous one. And that has freed me to be who I am and enjoy every moment of it.

So there it is: I am a Karnad and always have been.

So two years ago began my quest of taking back my name. Three sets of forms later, my boss's sister, a provincial judge, said to me when I asked her to sign the forms: "You are taking back what was always yours, you need no one's permission to do that. Yet I waited.. I had to get my highway licence and then change my name once and for all on that piece of id. The next step was my passport. I had always written as KARNAD-JANI for the last 16 years so my literary identity was not changing.

So I got my licence and changed my name and that was that. I had practised my signature and was delighted with it.

But old habits die hard. I had requested a copy of Jhumpa Lahiri's Unaccustomed Earth from the library and received a call yesterday to collect the copy. So off I went this cold February afternoon and searched for the book: Jain, Jensen, .... the list went on and still no book.

And then came the sudden realisation: of course I was not there,. I was under KARNAD wasn't I? I looked and there I was: as safe as I had always been. And the smiles of my Elders broke through the winter clouds.

BTW "Unaccustomed Earth" is a great book. Real, wistful, very touching.