The Little Brown Box: Roots, Journeys, Heartstrings: Glass Ceilings and Labelled Boxes

January 21st:

I had not watched endless reruns of President Obama's inauguration. Blame it on the shortage of time: travelling spouse, high school exams for one child, doctor's appointment with the other and caught in the middle, my utter exhaustion due to daily unspoken battles with the system that sustains me ( hopefully).

Starting 12:01 pm yesterday, the voices of cynicism have already seeped into conversations, brandishing labels of ' racism' at people who rejoice at a moving world event when they were merely discussing the speech content from the perspective of literacy. Oh the horror of celebrating something together, we are a divided world and proud of it! This is the lesson our children face and fight against everyday, depending on the maturity and wisdom of the adults that stand beside them.

We live in a world where previlege due to one's station in life is accepted with justified entitlement by majority groups ( men -women, popular culture- minorities). With 21 years of work experience in the corporate world and education, I have seen up close, the very forces that seek to erode the achievments of people who have worked to get where they are. Sisters out there who have had to work ten times as hard as their male counterpart to 'prove their worth' know exactly what I am talking about.

It begins thus: start the whispers by implying that "they got there on account of something other than hard work and sheer grit" ( advantage of race, gender, age whatever it "their most perceived trait"). It does not really matter that the very people who insinuate this would be OUTRAGED at a reverse comment that their status ( race, gender, age) have got them where they are, and has always done so.

Yes, in a myopic world we seek to seal people in labelled boxes and expect them to stay there. When they do not, we scoff at their audacity. " How dare they think they were good enough for this" is the sentiment, voiced only in circles where it is believed that it will be fed. And so it goes on: racist ' jokes' are not made in front of people who represent that race, sexist tales are not told in groups where women wear their feminism proudly.

How do I know this? Sometimes people forget that I was never in The Little Brown Box they had created for me. They say things in my presence that they think I will laugh about or go with. They 'compliment' me then by saying: " I do not see your colour you see. I am so broad minded that I have given you a seat beside me, I think you are one of us"

And I think to myself: this also means you do not know so many things about me such as

the fragrance of the jasmine garlands at Matunga market

the clicking of the metal balance of the vegetable vendor in my street

the fragrance of the first rain on the parched Earth

the pain of being spoken to LOUDLY by people who cannot see beyond the colour of my skin

You do not see my children for who they are, you see just a blur of whatever you choose to see. You continue to print labels for the boxes you seek to pack people in.

My circle of concern is small these days: I no longer worry about why people say the things they do, their misconceptions and opinions are their gifts that I choose not to open if they do not appeal to me. It took a large contingent of Gurus to get me to this place: The Buddha, Thich Nhat Hanh, Don Miguel Ruiz, Stephen Covey and above all my mother. Aikaavey janachey, karaavey manachey" she says to us in Marathi. This means, " hear what the world has to say but follow your heart" The courage of my convictions is therefore stronger than I thought possible.

So what is my next step? I will take my musings back to my class of wise people and have them reflect further on what they meant this morning:

I do not think it is fair to judge someone even before they have been given a chance to prove themselves.

It is mean to wait for someone to fail

It is unrealistic to expect someone entering a messy house to clean up all the mess in a short time.

I think I am the luckiest person alive: I have the most awesome teachers!!