Dear Sister, I wore a hijab today

Hello sister,
Today I wore a hijab all day.
Why? you ask...

Because I love you,
Our mothers are sisters
and they watch over us both.

You wish me for Diwali and
I call you for Eid.

My children call you Maasi
and your son calls me Aunty.

When you wished me on my anniversary,
 I wondered how you had remembered.

Then suddenly I sat there wide eyed
thinking: how could she ever forget?

How could anyone who has lived
through that brutal time ever
let that time fade?

My mehendi ceremony on January 26th
amidst curfew when
you wanted to go
visit your sisters.

And Elders who loved you and
wanted to protect you
took you home to 'safer' places.

I had watched that time
knowing that
I was safe where I was
under state sanctioned protection.

Now two decades later,
I have a sister here too.

She helped me without questions.
She brought me a bag
full of colourful hijabs to choose from

and then wrapped the one I had chosen
lovingly
around my head.

she gave me her safety pin
knowing that I, the novice
you have trouble through the day

she thought of that,
this sweet sister of mine

I remembered Pachchi then and you.
And I walked as I always do:
with the same eyes, the same heart.

There were some questions and some silences.
Some confusion and some challenges.

Is it Muslim Day?
Another sister quipped
too much tokenism
hurts through the years

and I replied with my heart
"I am wearing the hijab
with utmost respect"

That's okay.
A life lesson that
just because I am ready to understand
doesn't mean people want to be understood
though that was never my intention

For how can can I understand an entire life
in one day?

I wore a hijab today
as I have many sisters who do.

And they are real people,
not subjects upon
whom labels can be fixed.

Today I felt calmer.
Seeking to understand
is the only way forward

Today I walked one step closer to that goal.

Now the question is
would I dare do this
in the place where my heart still beats

And if not, what are the reasons?
Lots of love
Didi