Decisions, decisions

Days
just hurtle out of control
and I stand in the midst of each
and try to breathe
deeply and think
of leisure
of sitting with the children
and reading something for fun
of just being quietly
in a bubble of time
yet I know that is
my decision to choose
this life, this pace
and I must go the way I have charted
for myself
as I see time ticking
towards every January
when one more leaf
falls to the ground.

5:30 am on October 17th
After several weeks of 17 hour days.

How are you?

Hope all is well
I wonder about the silence
as I remind myself
that we are ourselves first
and free to decide whatever we do
whenever we do
but you promised to tell me
you were leaving
so I would know
not to think of you
like this
on rainy days.

I, The Elder

I, the Elder now
wait for news of birth
and wellness
and celebrate
from my recliner
technology is my Sanjay

I, the Elder
am asked
"What time was I born, Didi"
" What was my birth weight"
Sometimes I remember,
at others, I don't
as I was not an Elder then

I was just a little girl
7 or 10 delighted to have
a person to hug
and lug around on my hip
and love

And now, I am the Elder
the only one who is witness
to their journeys
And I know now
that if I do not remember
I can make something up

there is no one who will
refute my claim
As I am the last one standing

I, the Elder
But I don't
I tell them the truth,
that I do not remember

I was too busy dancing for joy then

And we remind ourselves
that we will tell our children
and we will write it down
We will take pictures, we will blog, we will record our voices

So they all know..

Is it?

I wait for the one
who is ever-elusive
perhaps this is love

Mystery

I wonder about
the sad deprived state of mind
where those who have the most
are still miserable.

As someone who grew up
in a quiet, verdant village
in Goa in the 70s

with no tv,
or radio,
or Internet,
or FB
or what-have-you

Yet enjoyed watching fireflies
on summer nights
and raindrops
on the window pane,
butterflies hatching out of
a small cardboard bex
and ferns on the inside
of the backyard well

and thankfully still retain the wonder
and the joy of starlight
I can safely say that
I am rich beyond compare

What is your loss little one ?
that you are
so easily displeased

(a question to the children I see around me whose parents strive to give more and do more and buy more just for that one look of satisfaction)

Sprained Ankle

Pebble on the road
excruciating, and now
I can read my book

If only..

How easy it is
to move one step further and
let go, live again