Homecoming

6th July, my day
to fly home to my childhood
this year, empty home

Summertime Sisters

A sister takes naps
Another, sings joyful tunes
It must be Summer

Love, suddenly

When love comes to me
In various forms, I smile
and thank you for it

My Commendation Letters

I was invited one day
before a long ago TPA
include your commendation letters
to your binder, if you wish

And I realized that I did not have any
Not one, not a single one
I had something else though
that cannot be filed away
and framed on walls

I have a crowded classroom though
and it fills up everyday, until there is only standing room
My students are shy sometimes
And bold some days
as they enter the room
with their rich, rich schema (a favourite word in room 206)
of many things I do not know, can only imagine

I have to bring in more chairs
For their mothers and their fathers
For their grandfathers and grandmothers
For their uncles and aunts

I see their dreams shine
Whenever I meet them
And they dream just like I do
They want the same things that I want, and you do
For our children

That their child is safe
That she can learn and be happy
and cared for, and fed and celebrated for

Whatever they understand
As a respectable job, not precarious, no layoffs
Schema again.

“Doctors, engineers, dentists”
They say,
as many scoff at
their ignorance of choices

that is our ideal, too isn't it?
Of not being frowned upon
Of having food on the table
Of having enough for our children, and they for theirs?

My students are my badge of honour
They shine and they glow
Yet I have no commendation letters

I have memories,
of food brought, piping hot, vadai, sometimes pongal
Mangoes in May, of tears shed at Grad
of hands held in hallways, with sisterly concern
of phone calls when my child was ill

And the reassurance
That a women’s group at the masjid was
also praying for us

“Borders do not exist between hearts” I say to them always
Dilon ke beech deewarein nahin hoteen
Our countries had fought several wars, you see

And that warmth, this love is what I hold in my heart
Everyday, as I walk with you.

I have no commendation letters.

Dappled, green

It comes suddenly,
this pain and loneliness
and the question
whether you are awake yet
half a world away

no bags to pack this July
and no stifling humidity to stare at
with sleepy eyes at midnight
no cool floors to walk on

just this sadness
and this knot of longing

and the realisation
that this parting is not about me
it was intended
as an answer to your wish
to be safe and free
and well

in whichever form
of energy
you currently inhabit

and the slanting rays
comfort me
as you always have

Haiku one stifling afternoon

cool east facing room,
amid blue walls, enjoying
haiku and blessings

A time for forgiveness: On my terms baby !

I am told this is a time for forgiveness.

I am informed that it is my duty to conform
I am reminded that Life is too short
( yeah right, you remember now)

I do not say anything, to those wise words
of vested interests
the very thought that
this is a changed time and
a changed me

that oppression cannot touch me anymore,
or my children
is uplifting and fun somehow

this time the rapid heartbeat
is elsewhere

I wonder what..
I wonder why...
I wonder when..

Ah, the total absense of fear
intoxicating

I cannot forgive
without her permission, y'know
al the 'Me's that reside within ..

the me in 1993
the me that Wimbledon night
and the me at the other time

I smile patiently
and listen to all those me's

and I let each one grieve
and anger
and vent

I sit with her in love
without judgement

And I wait
and seek permission from

all those Me's
to guide me forward